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I know that a key to success is positive energy and creating a good aura but today that was impossible for me. The negative energy around me made that impossible. If you’re wondering why I use envykarma well in all honesty I had a cat named Envy because my favorite color is green and green is not a cool name so thought it through to envy. You guessed it… I also had a cat named Karma. Over time my thought of the words combined are kind of true. I envy other people’s karma or chi. I know that envy is a sin but I can’t help it. The reason I want to write a book someday (actually have it written for me because I can’t write) is because if something can go wrong it does for me. I am the definition of Murphy’s Law. From the beginning of time I have had the world’s worst luck to the point of humor and great drama. I think I may have done something really bad in my past life and it’s catching up with me now.
I am realizing why I have a lot of artist friends and have always fit in with musicians, painters, designers, theater professionals… I have a great respect for them because it is not easy. I am very creative but not in the traditional sense. I can not sing, dance, write, paint… But I get visions and ideas then I run with them. It’s like a writer gets a thought and writes, a musician gets a vision and plays, or a painter dreams something and paints it. I am in color while the people I am surrounded by are in black and white.
Now that I have learned this about myself it’s time to address it. Do I change (conform), stay the same and toughen up, or do I stay me and move on? It’s not easy being different and I find myself embarrassed and hurt because of it. Which is very hard because not only don’t I fit in for the way I think and act but I am also of a different gender and age from those around me.
Today my creativity was matched against red tape, office politics, and hypocrites. Then hammered over and over again to make a point. Fun stuff. Head held high and hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
Thanks for reading
Stay tuned…
envykarma 