Realizations

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I know that a key to success is positive energy and creating a good aura but today that was impossible for me. The negative energy around me made that impossible. If you’re wondering why I use envykarma well in all honesty I had a cat named Envy because my favorite color is green and green is not a cool name so thought it through to envy. You guessed it… I also had a cat named Karma. Over time my thought of the words combined are kind of true. I envy other people’s karma or chi. I know that envy is a sin but I can’t help it. The reason I want to write a book someday (actually have it written for me because I can’t write) is because if something can go wrong it does for me. I am the definition of Murphy’s Law. From the beginning of time I have had the world’s worst luck to the point of humor and great drama. I think I may have done something really bad in my past life and it’s catching up with me now.

I am realizing why I have a lot of artist friends and have always fit in with musicians, painters, designers, theater professionals… I have a great respect for them because it is not easy. I am very creative but not in the traditional sense. I can not sing, dance, write, paint… But I get visions and ideas then I run with them. It’s like a writer gets a thought and writes, a musician gets a vision and plays, or a painter dreams something and paints it. I am in color while the people I am surrounded by are in black and white.

Now that I have learned this about myself it’s time to address it. Do I change (conform), stay the same and toughen up, or do I stay me and move on? It’s not easy being different and I find myself embarrassed and hurt because of it. Which is very hard because not only don’t I fit in for the way I think and act but I am also of a different gender and age from those around me.

Today my creativity was matched against red tape, office politics, and hypocrites. Then hammered over and over again to make a point. Fun stuff. Head held high and hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

Thanks for reading

Stay tuned…

 

Sunday Ramble

Normally I love Sundays. They are my favorite day of the week. As a family we hit the park or something else fun after picking up our morning Lg D&D. Which is a must on a daily basis for this mom to function. But today is different. I am exhausted having stayed up late for my alone time because the boys were awful about going to bed. Z woke up at 5 am… And it was dad’s day to sleep in. Tomorrow I have to be up at 4am to make it to Boston for 9am and I am the worlds worst morning person. Well, ok not the worst but pretty bad! Oh and tonight is the season premier of my favorite show… True Blood. To stay up or not to stay up? This week is going to be crazy. I have lots of travel in the tristate area and a test on Thursday. Then have family coming into town for the holiday weekend and that should make for good blogging. Always fun times when Sarah’s in town and she’s bringing Jessie. Oh boy. Stay tuned. Oh and almost forgot… Have a dinner guest coming to have an important chat with me tonight. Intense. Thank goodness hubby let me have a nap!